Three men were standing in line at the Pearly Gates. It had been a pretty busy day so Peter told the first one, "We're just about full up at the moment, so I've been asked to admit only people who've had a particularly horrible death. What's your story?"
The first replies, "Well, I'd suspected my wife of cheating on me. So today I came home early to try to catch her. As I came into my 25th-floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong. But all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. So I went out onto the balcony and, sure enough, there was this bloke hanging off the railing. I was really mad, so I started beating him and kicking him, but he wouldn't fall off. So I went back into the apartment, got a hammer and started bashing his fingers. He let go and fell. But he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I was so angry I rushed into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge. It landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died on the balcony."
"That sounds like a pretty bad death to me," said Peter, letting the man in.
"It's been a very strange day," said the second man. "You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building and every morning I do exercises out on my balcony. Well this morning I slipped and I fell over the edge. I got lucky and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. But suddenly this man burst onto the balcony and started beating me and kicking me. Then he got a hammer and started bashing at my hands. Finally I let go but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes. I was stunned but okay. Whereupon a refrigerator came falling out of the sky and crushed me. And now I'm here."
Once again, St Peter conceded it was a pretty horrible death.
Then the third man told his story, "Picture this," he says, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
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Sunday, March 15, 2009
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