Hank who farts...

Hank had a problem with flatulence. No matter what he ate, he farted. So he dreaded his new girlfriend's invitation to have dinner with her parents.
It was a very formal occasion and after he'd been sitting at the table for a while, he felt an incredible pain in his stomach and just had to fart. Just then, the family's dog Fido, which was sitting under the table, let out a growl. His girlfriend's mother yelled, "Fido!" Hank was relieved. It didn't matter if he farted, they'd blame the dog.
So he let go a bigger fart and, sure enough, the father yelled at the dog. "Fido!" But the pressure was still building up, so Hank lets out a huge, ripping fart and the mother yelled at the dog again. "Fido, get out from under the table before he shits all over you!"